But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.
Psalm 73:28
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I taught myself to crochet this spring. It's pretty simple to start with the wealth of knowledge out there at your fingertips. There are literally millions of video tutorials, and entire boards of people (thanks ravelry.com!) that are easy to access and great coaches for someone that knows practically no crocheters. But to start, get this: Jonathan just bought me a book. And I read it!
I periodically joke, now that I am on my third blanket and continually learning new things, that I have turned into a grandma at the ripe old age of 33! Jonathan says he loves it, and finds it so sweet. We are old souls meant for one another I can confidently say.
Besides the art of crochet, I've been studying a handful of other things. The Lord has been teaching me in a few areas of my life at once, but I'm surprised and not surprised at the same time. Women tend to relate everything in their minds, hearts, and souls. So, why would this be any different? Yet, with me, I have always seen specific studies be compartmentalized. So, I'm in new territory myself.
The Lord is doing this because I have made the place for it. I have made my life, my heart, and my soul still, quiet before Him everyday. It's the ultimate act of love, and the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my walk with Him, save saying "yes" to the God I love. And I'm aching to spill it out to anyone that comes near me. How could I not? Life changing things create a fire and a passion to share with others in hopes that they too may experience growth!
The problem is that my spilling isn't a system. It isn't "Five Steps to Life Change!", although there certainly would be common "steps" if we all executed this concept. No, if anything I find that the man made ideas of systems which have so eloquently pervaded the church atmosphere as well, mostly to our detriment, cause much division. They cause issues. They help sometimes. No system here, per se, It's just spending dedicated time to study the Word everyday, to meditate and pray quietly waiting to hear from the Lord, and to turn off all the craziness of life in order to abide in Him, to give Him the first spot. That means the car rides are pretty quiet, my home is quiet with the exception of some music or a Rogers every once in a while, my life, in general, is quiet.
Back in the old days of this blog, years ago, I had a few entries about the things the Holy Spirit was starting to teach me as a homemaker and mother. Things like John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the
world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
Verses like that one, and others helped set a foundation in my life of reliance on the ONE who knows me, my children, and our circumstances much better than we do ourselves. Allowing complete obedience to overspread our home and trust in the Almighty to penetrate our hearts produced compelling life change, and gave me much confidence. Not in myself, no my (our!) confidence came because we knew we had waved the white flag of surrender. We had given up our lives, really before we ever started. And this trust and obedience in the Lord gave Him nothing but malleable clay. Hallelujah!
So how did I get to granny status?!
That ultimate act of love I was referring to above has led me to the quiet still places where HE IS. Our Lord is counter cultural in all ways. We are aliens, remember? He tells us that (see John 15:18-19, John 17:16, and Philippians 3:20.)
That spirit of the world tries so hard to come in and influence us, but working diligently at a tender conscience at His feet will lead you to the places of security and trust. The places where He meets all your needs, changes your life, and leads you through the straight paths. When everything around you says the crooked path, and when all your logic defies, HE will show you why He is in control.
We are the most educated generation of women that has ever lived. Yet, with all that education, we fail to do what needs to be done with it: put it before the Almighty, and test it in His Word.
Rarely do I put such a large passage of Scripture in an entry, but Titus 2 has been a drum beat in my heart as I see God's promises becoming true. And I see how this requires you to change what you think you should be doing every day.
But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. 9 Bondservants are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, 10 not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.
11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, 13 waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.
15 Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.
I am seeing what a life that is reverent in behavior looks like. The definition of reverence is an outward manifestation or a gesture, a feeling, and attitude of deep respect tinged with awe and veneration. Is this true for me? Lord, make it ever true. Grow the roots of my heart so deep into the soil of pleasing you, fearing you, that this is always evident. If someone can look at you and see a love for the world, you do not carry reverence in an outward manifestation.
Am I a slanderer? Well, do you say things about other folks that are untrue or make them look poorly?
Am I slave to wine? Do you even appear to be a lover of wine? Quite frankly I stumble on so many folks that evidently haven't read Romans 14 lately, and want to flaunt their "liberty to drink". They broadcast it with pictures, some prominent women flaunt it in the books they write, and others use it sparingly, but know in their hearts that they look forward to every glass. Oh dear.
Am I teaching what is good, training younger women to love their husbands and children? I may not have gray hair, but I do not escape this exhortation! Women younger than me should be able to look to my life as one that lines up with this passage. Do I say disparaging things about the people in my family? Do I mock my children's behavior online, or to others? Do I undercut my husband, or laugh at jokes in which he, or men in general, are the butt of it? That is not pleasing to the Lord God.
Am I self controlled? The last 6 months I have seen the Lord teaching me self control in new, deep ways. It's been so kind of Him, and encouraging, and at a pace that I can follow. Thank you, Lord.
What about purity? Purity has come to my attention in a whole new way, and I long for it!
Do I work in my home? Working at home has become my joy and passion. In a sea of women that complain about their work at home, that escape it for something "more important" (what a lie from the devil himself!) or, even the ones who can't because of the choices they have made or are making, I long to urge them to ask the Lord for this gift. The gift of working at home. Scripture asserts that you should, and you can trust that source as the highest and greatest.
Am I kind? Am I submissive?
Am I living a life that is being trained to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions while I wait on Him to return? The answer to this is "yes." I can say that my lifestyle does this, and I boast in the Lord.
I want this so badly for all the women I come in contact with. Just desperately. I want them to become free from the spirit of the world that has brought them to a place of slavery in their lives. The examples of this are numerous. They morph into all sorts of forms that only the obedient heart will be able to see. A tender heart toward the Lord will immediately sense the Holy Spirit saying "This is not the way, I long to show you a better way." And speaking as a reformed career woman, He does.
The mothering debates are deep, and hurtful to many, causing all sorts of pain. What isn't a debate is the need we all have to surrender our minds, hearts, and souls to spending quality time with the Lord. And if you don't have it in your current life, Jesus will change everything about you in order to get that time with you, because he desperately loves you.
Let me say that again: HE DESPERATELY LOVES YOU, HE WANTS YOU. He wants your time, your life, your everything. And He is able to be trusted with it. He will protect those who live under the shadow of the Almighty. He will provide for the one who sits at His right hand. He will lead the one that will not lead themselves, and He will love you better than you could ever imagine.
So, will I follow verse 15 declaring these things, exhorting and rebuking with all authority? Yes.
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I'm embarrassed that my own worldly influences have been shown here, and I need to repent.
Proverbs 16:31 says that "a gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness." and here I am joking about being a granny. It's something to aspire to.
See? Our God is counter-cultural.
Oh Lord,
What depths to you. How I long to be there. This world has nothing for me. Help me. Help me run harder, love deeper, and be an example to those that do not know you in every way. I trust you in all things, for you didn't have to prove yourself to me, yet you do, over and over, that you are my all in all.
All my love,
Sarah
A
gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness.
- See more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Aging#sthash.ffFsmLkO.dpuf
A
gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness.
- See more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Aging#sthash.ffFsmLkO.dpuf
A
gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness.
- See more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Aging#sthash.ffFsmLkO.dpuf
A
gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness.
- See more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Aging#sthash.ffFsmLkO.dpuf
"that they may know that you alone, whose name is the LORD, are the Most High over all the earth."
-Psalm 83:18
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This morning at 8:30am, Evelyn said "hello" followed by "Mommy can we go swimming?" The amount of time we spend outside leads me to believe that they have inherited their father's love of swimming! We said goodbye to daddy, and packed up snacks before heading out to the backyard. The new house has a pool, which could admittedly be a large source of stress, but Jonathan and I spent time in prayer about it before we purchased the home, and we use our brains to make good decisions about pool safety.After putting the oldest three in their puddle jumpers I got Jack in his suit and lathered up that fair skin of his, before setting him down to monkey crawl, his newest form of movement that surely will just proceed the inevitable walking. Jack wants to be big SO BADLY. Can you blame him? I'm sure he must want to do everything the older three do. They always look like they are having such a blast! Today I watched as he monkeyed over to his shallow end and saw as he stopped just short of it to turn himself around and lower himself down into it. The problem is, he had spotted the first row of diamond tiles, not the top row which make up the boundary of the shallow end. I saw him thinking he had made it to his pool, so I yelled "Not there, Jack! No no no!" but he had already determined in his mind that it was safe and let go. I snatched him out of the water a split second after he was completely submerged. I think he actually found it fun. Sigh.
Vivien said "Mommy, did Jack die?" I explained to her that he could have died because he was in water and he didn't know how to swim yet. We talked about the rules of our pool again (I'm sure they are so tired of it!), and we touched on how sad mommy would be if one of the kiddos went to be with Jesus and left us, how much we would miss them.
Shortly thereafter, I put Jack down for his morning nap and sent Jonathan a text to tell him the story. He sent me back this:
These situations are WHY I trust the Lord implicitly with our children. Nothing happens apart from Him knowing it and allowing it.
Jonathan admitted that he thought to tell me beforehand, but thought he might sound worrisome and that he wanted to trust the Lord. And look at this beautiful testimony we got out of not worrying, just waiting. Jonathan joined in with the Lord in prayer instead of saying something to me, and I experienced that prompting of the Lord in the situation and the PEACE that comes with knowing He will alert us to what we need to know.
This is the most powerful testimony of a person who walks with God: the ability to put full trust in the hands that hold the world. All I must do is use wisdom, trust Him, and LISTEN as He prompts us. To listen, I must be quiet in my heart. I must shut out the things that drown His still small voice, and receive with an open heart.
Elisabeth Elliot writes in "Be Still My Soul":
"The longer I live, the more fully I become convinced that the Lord is in charge of everything on this complicated Earth and that nothing happens without His permission. It's one of the great advantages of old age to be so completely sure of that. God Almighty is sovereign. He is the One who is paramount, autonomous, unlimited, supreme, all-loving, the absolute ruler of everything.
It seems to me to me that our modern church life, with its emphasis on cozy friendship with God, has deprived us somewhat of an awe-filled appreciation for His sovereignty. It's not that we take issue with it exactly. We recognize His hand at work at startling or spectacular moments...However, as we plod through the ordinary middle ground of our lives, the long distances between the punctuations marks of exultation and desolation, we fail to appreciate God's sovereignty."
But we don't have to fail to appreciate it. Choose to trust and obey, to listen and be obedient, and see how the Lord will walk in close friendship with you, how He will prompt your spirit to be sensitive to His leading. In our family, He is leading us to pray. We may not have the resources or the abilities to go out and do, but we certainly can stay in and pray. Jesus did nothing apart from the Father's leading in prayer. Why should we be any different?
Thank you, Lord, for allowing us to be apart of what you are doing in our family by joining you in prayer. Thank you for speaking to us as we take the steps to make you the loudest voice we hear. Thank you for entrusting us with so much, and giving us strength to steward it all everyday. We love you Jesus. Apart from you, we are nothing.
All my love,
Sarah
So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law.
Galatians 5:1
After Jonathan and I were married, my Father in law asked me very graciously one night if I wondered if I would ever return to a lifestyle of drug abuse. Among other dumb behaviors, all rooting themselves in my desire to live life to the fullest apart from God, I abused drugs for a few years- hard drugs- before I gave my life to Christ. I appreciated the question, and I was excited to tell him no.
I'm not surprised in the least bit that He asked. The old adage "but for the grace of God there go I", comes to mind, but I KNOW that my love and passion and relationship with Jesus is so deeply rooted in what He and I have, that I would rather die physically than wound my Savior.
That's the sort of devotion that flows from a heart that has been set free. How can I not pledge such allegiance to the Lord after what He has done? I spent a handful of years of screwing it up, so I had to spend a handful of years fixing it. It's not a quick prayer and "move on" type of deal. I talked through many things with my amazing mother, who had been set free from lots of generational sin in her own life, but mostly I worked at it with the Lord.
For me, I spent many years crying out in prayer and worship, and practically writing. Writing A LOT (and in almost illegible handwriting.) I also read my Bible like a desert castaway who had stumbled upon the oasis.
Everyone needs the Holy Spirit to walk with them and counsel them through those places. He must be first. I had friends, I knew people, but you know who was with
me in every moment? Jesus. He was there. And I gave Him the place to
be my best friend.
So, truth be told, to me it doesn't sound hard.
Okay, it's hard in that it takes time, and work, and surrender on your part. More surrender than just "Jesus you are the Lord of my life" The end.
And that's why I find myself writing today.
I'm in shock. Almost everywhere I turn these days, I see professing Christians in bondage. And I'm so sad. It's starting to weigh down my heart like an anvil to a balloon, and I'm desperate for change, and for hope. It's like we have discounted the healing power of the very one who IS The Great Healer: Our Lord. Either that or the people I know that say they love Jesus, don't know Him.
To the ones of us that do, do we not trust Him to break us into a million pieces so that He can rebuild us into the vessel He wants us to be?
According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.
1 Corinthians 3:10-15
I read that passage and I picture all these foundations without much to speak of on top. Or perhaps a house is there, but it looks ready to collapse. My heart aches for these ones! This is why we so desperately need to disciple: to have someone come along and actually lead them through this stuff, to help stand along side them as they pursue and mature in Christ. Maturing in Christ means reading your Bible, meditating on what the Holy Spirit would lead you to do, and standing firm on God's promises. When you have enough of that in you, there's no room for any waste to fit in there.
For example, a dear friend of mine is going through a crisis that is threatening to tear up her marriage.
But it's awesome.
Last night I spent two hours on the phone with her listening to the proclamations of what the Lord is doing. The couple had built up a house that is being burnt up now, and the Lord is leading them afresh. Both sets of eyes not on each other or the world, but on Him.
We would giggle out of sheer emotional release at what a crazy month it has been. We would cry, but KNOW what the other was going through or had been through, and it was life changing. I still can't believe my friend. She is like a new person. It's the trademark of a person who has truly encountered Christ, and I'm so excited to see it happening!!!! She and her husband desired, prayed for the Lord to change them to be more like HIM. And that's all it took. Over a course of two years or so, He brought them LOW, so that He could rebuild. And it's just so awesome!!!!! We were both in crying laughter last night over the hard parts bringing such relief. I'm ENCOURAGED just walking next to her, encouraging her in my own freedom journey. But they are owning it, their sin, and they are working it to God, and He is giving them Scripture and changing their lives with His NEARNESS.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
2 Corinthians 3:17
I, as well as others, can testify to these types of goodness.
I YEARN for that freedom in the lives of other believers!!! Christians!!!! HOW WILL THE WORLD SEE WE ARE DIFFERENT IF WE LIVE IN THE SAME BONDAGE AS THOSE APART FROM CHRIST?!?!
I know plenty of women who can't get past their physical body as their source of worth. They go to extremes to feel fulfilled. I can speak to that. I was once in that place myself. Oh what I wouldn't give to say to each and every one of them "Take care of your vessel, but ultimately, when you do something extreme you miss the secret that the Lord has for you in what HE can give, after all HE made you! (And, for some of you, the intimate place of a Christ focused marriage and the TREASURE that it is.) You fall prey to what the world thinks is beautiful, and you look like the world." It's heartbreaking to me. You give up something awe inspiring in the journey with the Lord, for something that's just good: your quick fix.You lose the chance to REALLY walk in FREEDOM! Oh, Jesus! Help us! Make us tender to hear your leading!
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:25, 30
My husband is another great example...although he never did drugs, he had his own sins and struggled with depression. But the Lord set Him free. He fell more in love with pleasing Jesus than He did himself, and I have seen that manifest itself in every area of his life, of our life. Put up all the guards you want, until you are free from the addiction, until the Lord changes your source, it's only a matter of time before you fall again. Run hard after Jesus. There isn't room for His Spirit and your bondage.
And a brief word about sex and marriage: we were two broken cases. We were set up to fail, but we kept our marriage at the foot of the cross, we guard our eyes, and then we thank God for reprogramming our brains. Because over the past almost 5 years, that's what has happened. Two people who came with very corrupt views and backgrounds LONG to shout from the rooftops how God has taught us the ways that intimacy is a pure expression of love and not a performance for your spouse. It isn't about all the "show". Don't copy THE WORLD! Seek HIS ways, and HE WILL NOT HIDE FROM YOU!!!!!
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I wonder if I sound too cavalier? If I do it is because I am on the other side of my healing. All of this passion for truth came through great pain. Sin causes pain, so I am rejoicing in being restored.
Sometimes I look at our children and I wonder if they will stray one day. I know they are all sinners. But I wonder how that will manifest. I trust the Lord. He works it all together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Oh Jesus, how I long for everyone to experience your goodness in the building of their lives. I know my heart is merely a dim reflection of what YOU feel for all of us. Help us to run faster after you. Harder after your ways. Help us to be more like YOU, and less like ourselves. Teach us the paths of righteousness.
All my love...Sarah
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