A Baby Bug's Life

But for me it is good to be near God;
    I have made the Lord God my refuge,
    that I may tell of all your works.

Psalm 73:28 

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I taught myself to crochet this spring.  It's pretty simple to start with the wealth of knowledge out there at your fingertips.  There are literally millions of video tutorials, and entire boards of people (thanks ravelry.com!) that are easy to access and great coaches for someone that knows practically no crocheters.  But to start, get this: Jonathan just bought me a book.  And I read it!

I periodically joke, now that I am on my third blanket and continually learning new things, that I have turned into a grandma at the ripe old age of 33!  Jonathan says he loves it, and finds it so sweet.  We are old souls meant for one another I can confidently say.

Besides the art of crochet, I've been studying a  handful of other things.  The Lord has been teaching me in a few areas of my life at once, but I'm surprised and not surprised at the same time.  Women tend to relate everything in their minds, hearts, and souls.  So, why would this be any different?  Yet, with me, I have always seen specific studies be compartmentalized.  So, I'm in new territory myself.

The Lord is doing this because I have made the place for it.  I have made my life, my heart, and my soul still, quiet before Him everyday.  It's the ultimate act of love, and the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my walk with Him, save saying "yes" to the God I love.  And I'm aching to spill it out to anyone that comes near me.  How could I not?  Life changing things create a fire and a passion to share with others in hopes that they too may experience growth!

The problem is that my spilling isn't a system.  It isn't "Five Steps to Life Change!", although there certainly would be common "steps" if we all executed this concept.  No, if anything I find that the man made ideas of systems which have so eloquently pervaded the church atmosphere as well, mostly to our detriment, cause much division.  They cause issues.  They help sometimes.  No system here, per se, It's just spending dedicated time to study the Word everyday, to meditate and pray quietly waiting to hear from the Lord, and to turn off all the craziness of life in order to abide in Him, to give Him the first spot.  That means the car rides are pretty quiet, my home is quiet with the exception of some music or a Rogers every once in a while, my life, in general, is quiet.

Back in the old days of this blog, years ago, I had a few entries about the things the Holy Spirit was starting to teach me as a homemaker and mother.  Things like John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." 

Verses like that one, and others helped set a foundation in my life of reliance on the ONE who knows me, my children, and our circumstances much better than we do ourselves.  Allowing complete obedience to overspread our home and trust in the Almighty to penetrate our hearts produced compelling life change, and gave me much confidence.  Not in myself, no my (our!) confidence came because we knew we had waved the white flag of surrender.  We had given up our lives, really before we ever started.  And this trust and obedience in the Lord gave Him nothing but malleable clay.  Hallelujah!

So how did I get to granny status?!  

That ultimate act of love I was referring to above has led me to the quiet still places where HE IS.  Our Lord is counter cultural in all ways.  We are aliens, remember?  He tells us that (see John 15:18-19, John 17:16, and Philippians 3:20.)

That spirit of the world tries so hard to come in and influence us, but working diligently at a tender conscience at His feet will lead you to the places of security and trust.  The places where He meets all your needs, changes your life, and leads you through the straight paths.  When everything around you says the crooked path, and when all your logic defies, HE will show you why He is in control.

We are the most educated generation of women that has ever lived. Yet, with all that education, we fail to do what needs to be done with it: put it before the Almighty, and test it in His Word.

Rarely do I put such a large passage of Scripture in an entry, but Titus 2 has been a drum beat in my heart as I see God's promises becoming true.  And I see how this requires you to change what you think you should be doing every day.

But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. ² Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. ³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴ and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. ⁶ Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. ⁷ Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, ⁸ and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. ⁹ Bondservants are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, ¹⁰ not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.

¹¹ For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, ¹² training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, ¹³ waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, ¹⁴ who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

¹⁵ Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.

I am seeing what a life that is reverent in behavior looks like. The definition of reverence is an outward manifestation or a gesture, a feeling, and attitude of deep respect tinged with awe and veneration.  Is this true for me?   Lord, make it ever true.  Grow the roots of my heart so deep into the soil of pleasing you, fearing you, that this is always evident.  If someone can look at you and see a love for the world, you do not carry reverence in an outward manifestation.

Am I a slanderer?  Well, do you say things about other folks that are untrue or make them look poorly? 

Am I slave to wine?  Do you even appear to be a lover of wine?  Quite frankly I stumble on so many folks that evidently haven't read Romans 14 lately, and want to flaunt their "liberty to drink".  They broadcast it with pictures, some prominent women flaunt it in the books they write, and others use it sparingly, but know in their hearts that they look forward to every glass.  Oh dear. 

Am I teaching what is good, training younger women to love their husbands and children? I may not have gray hair, but I do not escape this exhortation!  Women younger than me should be able to look to my life as one that lines up with this passage.  Do I say disparaging things about the people in my family?  Do I mock my children's behavior online, or to others?  Do I undercut my husband, or laugh at jokes in which he, or men in general, are the butt of it?  That is not pleasing to the Lord God.

Am I self controlled?  The last 6 months I have seen the Lord teaching me self control in new, deep ways. It's been so kind of Him, and encouraging, and at a pace that I can follow.  Thank you, Lord.  

What about purity?  Purity has come to my attention in a whole new way, and I long for it!