So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law.
Galatians 5:1
After Jonathan and I were married, my Father in law asked me very graciously one night if I wondered if I would ever return to a lifestyle of drug abuse. Among other dumb behaviors, all rooting themselves in my desire to live life to the fullest apart from God, I abused drugs for a few years- hard drugs- before I gave my life to Christ. I appreciated the question, and I was excited to tell him no.
I'm not surprised in the least bit that He asked. The old adage "but for the grace of God there go I", comes to mind, but I KNOW that my love and passion and relationship with Jesus is so deeply rooted in what He and I have, that I would rather die physically than wound my Savior.
That's the sort of devotion that flows from a heart that has been set free. How can I not pledge such allegiance to the Lord after what He has done? I spent a handful of years of screwing it up, so I had to spend a handful of years fixing it. It's not a quick prayer and "move on" type of deal. I talked through many things with my amazing mother, who had been set free from lots of generational sin in her own life, but mostly I worked at it with the Lord.
For me, I spent many years crying out in prayer and worship, and practically writing. Writing A LOT (and in almost illegible handwriting.) I also read my Bible like a desert castaway who had stumbled upon the oasis.
Everyone needs the Holy Spirit to walk with them and counsel them through those places. He must be first. I had friends, I knew people, but you know who was with
me in every moment? Jesus. He was there. And I gave Him the place to
be my best friend.
So, truth be told, to me it doesn't sound hard.
Okay, it's hard in that it takes time, and work, and surrender on your part. More surrender than just "Jesus you are the Lord of my life" The end.
And that's why I find myself writing today.
I'm in shock. Almost everywhere I turn these days, I see professing Christians in bondage. And I'm so sad. It's starting to weigh down my heart like an anvil to a balloon, and I'm desperate for change, and for hope. It's like we have discounted the healing power of the very one who IS The Great Healer: Our Lord. Either that or the people I know that say they love Jesus, don't know Him.
To the ones of us that do, do we not trust Him to break us into a million pieces so that He can rebuild us into the vessel He wants us to be?
According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.
1 Corinthians 3:10-15
I read that passage and I picture all these foundations without much to speak of on top. Or perhaps a house is there, but it looks ready to collapse. My heart aches for these ones! This is why we so desperately need to disciple: to have someone come along and actually lead them through this stuff, to help stand along side them as they pursue and mature in Christ. Maturing in Christ means reading your Bible, meditating on what the Holy Spirit would lead you to do, and standing firm on God's promises. When you have enough of that in you, there's no room for any waste to fit in there.
For example, a dear friend of mine is going through a crisis that is threatening to tear up her marriage.
But it's awesome.
Last night I spent two hours on the phone with her listening to the proclamations of what the Lord is doing. The couple had built up a house that is being burnt up now, and the Lord is leading them afresh. Both sets of eyes not on each other or the world, but on Him.
We would giggle out of sheer emotional release at what a crazy month it has been. We would cry, but KNOW what the other was going through or had been through, and it was life changing. I still can't believe my friend. She is like a new person. It's the trademark of a person who has truly encountered Christ, and I'm so excited to see it happening!!!! She and her husband desired, prayed for the Lord to change them to be more like HIM. And that's all it took. Over a course of two years or so, He brought them LOW, so that He could rebuild. And it's just so awesome!!!!! We were both in crying laughter last night over the hard parts bringing such relief. I'm ENCOURAGED just walking next to her, encouraging her in my own freedom journey. But they are owning it, their sin, and they are working it to God, and He is giving them Scripture and changing their lives with His NEARNESS.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
2 Corinthians 3:17
I, as well as others, can testify to these types of goodness.
I YEARN for that freedom in the lives of other believers!!! Christians!!!! HOW WILL THE WORLD SEE WE ARE DIFFERENT IF WE LIVE IN THE SAME BONDAGE AS THOSE APART FROM CHRIST?!?!
I know plenty of women who can't get past their physical body as their source of worth. They go to extremes to feel fulfilled. I can speak to that. I was once in that place myself. Oh what I wouldn't give to say to each and every one of them "Take care of your vessel, but ultimately, when you do something extreme you miss the secret that the Lord has for you in what HE can give, after all HE made you! (And, for some of you, the intimate place of a Christ focused marriage and the TREASURE that it is.) You fall prey to what the world thinks is beautiful, and you look like the world." It's heartbreaking to me. You give up something awe inspiring in the journey with the Lord, for something that's just good: your quick fix.You lose the chance to REALLY walk in FREEDOM! Oh, Jesus! Help us! Make us tender to hear your leading!
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:25, 30
My husband is another great example...although he never did drugs, he had his own sins and struggled with depression. But the Lord set Him free. He fell more in love with pleasing Jesus than He did himself, and I have seen that manifest itself in every area of his life, of our life. Put up all the guards you want, until you are free from the addiction, until the Lord changes your source, it's only a matter of time before you fall again. Run hard after Jesus. There isn't room for His Spirit and your bondage.
And a brief word about sex and marriage: we were two broken cases. We were set up to fail, but we kept our marriage at the foot of the cross, we guard our eyes, and then we thank God for reprogramming our brains. Because over the past almost 5 years, that's what has happened. Two people who came with very corrupt views and backgrounds LONG to shout from the rooftops how God has taught us the ways that intimacy is a pure expression of love and not a performance for your spouse. It isn't about all the "show". Don't copy THE WORLD! Seek HIS ways, and HE WILL NOT HIDE FROM YOU!!!!!
________________________
I wonder if I sound too cavalier? If I do it is because I am on the other side of my healing. All of this passion for truth came through great pain. Sin causes pain, so I am rejoicing in being restored.
Sometimes I look at our children and I wonder if they will stray one day. I know they are all sinners. But I wonder how that will manifest. I trust the Lord. He works it all together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Oh Jesus, how I long for everyone to experience your goodness in the building of their lives. I know my heart is merely a dim reflection of what YOU feel for all of us. Help us to run faster after you. Harder after your ways. Help us to be more like YOU, and less like ourselves. Teach us the paths of righteousness.
All my love...Sarah
