I don't even know where to begin.
I haven't written for a few months because we are in upheaval right now. Most of our life is in boxes on pause while we wait for all the parts to come together to get settled in, what will hopefully be, our forever home. We have an offer on a place, and we are waiting for a short sale to be approved. We only want to live there if it is what the Lord has for us, but I am hopeful that this home will be it. If not, it's okay. We trust the Lord.
The transition times would be a lot harder I think, if I hadn't already embraced the idea that I have to wait. I am happy to report that I can see the way the Lord has matured this in me. Hallelujah! I'm not so emotional about the hold. I do not fret, or worry, I understand that just as I frequently tell our children to "Practice your patience", so I am in a spot where the Lord is saying (yet again) "Practice your patience."
And I am.
I mean, right now our rowing machine is about twelve inches from my desk chair, and yesssss I had to do a little wiggle to get into the chair, but it's kind of...fun...in a weird way, to just embrace the chaotic right now. I'm indulging in the messiness, and in the fellowship with my children. I hope it doesn't change. We are reading together (and twins, you are learning to sit still!), we are going out in public more, attempting fellowship with friends, and close to starting our first shot at homeschooling! It's been a lot of fun, and it seems that I may be getting a good exercise in what's important, so I'll put it in the bank!
We took our first family vacation two weeks ago. I wouldn't have ever dreamed that it would be as smooth as it was. We had a blast! Like a legitimate blast. I found myself chuckling at the fact that I am the mom. I mean, I can remember most of our family vacations, and here I was taking on the Mom role, not a role of a participant, but the leader. I felt that way in the move. I was no longer on lifting duty, I had graduated to director of goods, making sure everything had its spot was my chief task!
I also made sure Jonathan took at least one photo of our time in the sand. It was so nice to just play as a family. The beach in October may actually be my new favorite family vacation! It was just so fun!
So here I am, realizing that it's time to update our family's journal and, all kidding aside, so pleased at the groove we have found.
You kids will frequently sing Mr. Roger's Potato Bug Opera, in particular the refrain "Potato bugs groove, potato bugs groove, potato bugs groove, groove, groove!"
I smile to myself because by his definition we are in a little potato bug season. We are in a groove, sweet things! I am seeing much fruit around here. There is quite a lot of obedience coming forth, which encourages me in my attempts to hit grace and law equally. As a lover of God's Word, and a person that lives for truth in love, I continually try to hit the bullseye in discernment on everyday parenting challenges. It is the single most important thing I need to do. There is no love without law, and there is no love without grace. I don't always get it right, but I do more than wrong. "I praise you, Jesus. You are the One I praise in this!" I am seeing a really good harvest of what we have tried to sow faithfully.
All of you have your moments of disagreement or of selfishness, but generally a kind word and a redirection eases those instances. In your defiance, and with three we get at least a few moments a day, we correct swiftly with love and law. I also see that you know that I mean what I say. YAY! I have apparently proven myself as a mother who means what she says will happen because 9 times out of 10, if I state the consequence before you act disobedient (in the car or out in public for example, preempting what I know you little rascals will do), you won't do it. You know that I will levy your punishment. I'm very thankful, as it has really united us as a family. We are all on the same page. I'm so thankful for the perseverance in this!!! Sometimes it's hard to stop and handle discipline. Sigh. I'd rather not. But I know that I don't love you rightly if I ignore this.
Even without a routine you all have been able to follow the lead of our parenting, and that has filled my heart to the brim and overflowing. It spurs me on to continue to lead with love and conviction. I can get your heart's attentions and you will give me your raw emotions as well as your submission. I can't imagine a better situation to be in. The three of you are blessing me right now, and encouraging me to persevere in what the Lord has called us to do: to have more!
I frequently encounter people who like to make a crack about our insanity in having all of you (and wanting more!) and it pains me that your little ears hear that. Why would someone talk over my children's heads about their non worth? Tacky. But as you get older, it will provoke good conversation in our family, and be our prooftext in God's faithfulness. If He has a plan and a call, He will carry us through it victoriously as we practice obedience to Him. And isn't that what is happening with you little ones? God is showing Himself to you in your security of home, and in your place in our family, in a solid foundation, because of your obedience to your parents?
I am continually impressed with the way He shows His attributes to us in the area of parenting. No life endeavor has taught me more about God then parenting. And since I know that I am, that we are ultimately your association with who God is, I take it very seriously. I want to live as close to His heart in order to lead yours there.
