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| Outtake of a Christmas Photo! Haha! |
I think we were sort of dreading the Christmas season this year which is particularly odd for our family considering how much we (and by we I especially mean, Jonathan) LOVE this time of year. For him us, it really is the most wonderful time of the year! We celebrate the birth of Jesus, the most important relationship we have in our lives.
Of course a new year brings new challenges. While we have learned to be content where we are, there is an unspoken stress factor that lingers in the back of every day when you are waiting to close on a home. The house closing has been such a journey. We sold our home in faith that we would be able to find another. We had our eye on one just down the street from us, but the Lord had other plans. As of today we are still waiting to close. There have been some issues because the home has two electrical meters and two kitchens. Lenders are having trouble committing to selling it because it's in a residential area, but wants to appear as a multi family dwelling. I'm not sure how banks work through these sorts of things, obviously, because if it was my house sitting there vacant, I would sell it. ;) We have been staying at a rental house in the interim. So without divulging too much of the details, this waiting has put some stress on all of us involved. Aunt Rachel and Uncle Scott had to spend their first Christmas living in the office of The Cross, which is fine, but I'm sure it's not their dream situation. We decided as a family to rally and do Christmas morning with all of us at The Cross, which had never really been the intended plans. I think we were all going to celebrate separately this year. But the Lord had different plans, and not surprisingly, they were much better. How beautiful to be with our family.
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| Our 13 family members! |
Tandem parenting, or rather, parenting as a united front is the second "major thing" we have ever dealt with in our marriage. And considering the first took place entirely in our engagement, we consider ourselves blessed. It turns out that our kids get a bit more squirrely when we are both at home. Maybe they pick up on the good cop/bad cop routine? Who knows. This is entirely new for us too, but it has presented us with lots of opportunities to grow as a couple. Jonathan and I are both very "get it done" type A sort of folks. Sometimes that can cause us to bonk heads in day to day direction with the kids. We both have the same end, but the means to that end can differ. This area is where I am reminded that without us both looking to Jesus, things would fall apart. In fact, I think and state this often, but I can't imagine life without Him. Do people just rely on themselves? What guilt must come from that? What measure of pride is needed to maintain sanity? The highs and lows must be maddening. Peace through anything is PRICELESS. In fact peace is the essence of the gospel: "His law is love, and His gospel is peace".
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| Christmas present aftermath. |
This year we learned what it takes to be mobile. We had a taste of it on vacation to Florida, but this was a good round two. Staying elsewhere when you have a bunch of littles is very hard. I'm sure that if I was an outsider looking in I may have my thoughts or judgements on this, but it's just difficult to settle the group down and get them to sleep. Perhaps we just have a rowdy crew? Last year it felt unthinkable. 1 and 2 year olds are just so naturally curious that every environment becomes...challenging, you are constantly monitoring. Lots of redirection meant that your focus was on that, not on just enjoying your time with whomever you were with or whatever you were doing. Adding Jack couldn't have been more easy, literally forgoing naps for the sake of the group, yet still remaining upbeat and smiley. But the twins, and our Vivien. Our sweet three just don't want to miss a thing. Nor do I want to expect things of them that just aren't...cool. You know? I often pause my mind in the moments of chaos and remind myself that a lot of "toddler craziness" is based on the very things that we are giving to them, exposing them to, asking them to comply with in this world. Of course you are having a melt down, you aren't supposed to be able to rationalize like a grown up! You aren't supposed to have twenty five televisions on in your peripheral vision while I want you to sit still and eat at a restaurant. Sit still and eat?! What are you, 25?! Please, settle down and go to sleep in this foreign environment that you have never become vulnerable in before...and it just goes on and on. I think kids may be set up for failure in a lot of capacities. I find that our "quiet life" brings forth a gentle life, and a contented set of children. At least my limited perspective reveals that.
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| Cousins! |
[Jesus said] "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33
So we move forward, noting the things that our children are growing in, asking the Lord for His ultimate wisdom in raising them, and trusting that in our humility, He will right whatever we get wrong.
I asked my parents again a few days ago what they thought was the most impactful part of my returning to Christ in my early twenties. My folks assert that I was raised in the faith and cite this scripture:
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6
I agree with them. But after that, they say PRAYER. I pray more often than I want to admit, that the Lord would keep my kids from wandering. I guess I am on the right track. That's all the "control" I have over it all. And I'm strangely thankful.
Jonathan and I are reading Tim Keller's new book on prayer. I love to be encouraged in it. Prayer is my most favorite part of my walk with the Lord. So of course, it is the first place I will get discouraged. It requires much maturity and trust to pray and relate with the Father that way. Trusting the Lord for our children by being a praying mom is a labor of love that you may not see for a long time. I have my parents to thank for leading by example and encouraging in this endeavor. If I didn't, I think my culture may have convinced me to give up. Heck, Jonathan and I can't even get people from our own church to meet to pray. It's just an unlooked area of the church, and it's DEVASTATING Christian communities all around. And of course it is a hard practice, and of course we struggle to dedicate the time, quiet, etc to it. But it's a crying shame, and we are determined to continue into the new year even more zealous then before. Prayer CHANGES THINGS.
We have made efforts every night to pray over and with our wild spirits in this family. Those ones with the fire inside of them. And I can see the Lord honoring those prayers already. All three of the older ones can recite the Lord's prayer emphatically, and we do, every night. Sometimes we even pray it in the day. ;) We pray simple things: "Dear Jesus, I love you. Help me to obey you by obeying my parents." Things like that. We pray "Guide my spirit, watch over my body, and help me be more like you." Simple things that I hope instill in them a tenderness for the Holy Spirit and the kind and gentle way He leads. I pray my children will always have tender hearts for the Lord.
I just caught Vivien in her room in the dark dressed like a ballerina, dancing to a small mobile that came with Coco's Christmas gift: a baby doll crib. It was entirely too precious to be mad at, and I was thankful that my instinct was to delight with her in her sweet fantasy. I am enjoying watching her grow up.
After Christmas at my parents, in which we stayed a whole extra night we were having so much fun, we came home determined to reorganize, and live like we aren't leaving. I'm happy to say after a day's work, sanity is restored and I can literally hear a pin drop it's so quiet in the house during nap time today. Giving Vivien, Elijah, and Evelyn their own rooms, and clearing out the storage room for Jack's crib was a fabulous decision and I am certain that we could stay much longer now if needed. There may be eight empty bookshelves, and an extra refrigerator lining our living room walls, but it's cozy and organized for now. I have renewed my strong sense of "If it doesn't have a purpose and a place, throw it out!" You don't even miss it.
When our big kids inherited their own rooms, they also inherited their first places to store their TOYS. They all received toys (educational AND fantastical!) for Christmas, and we are unashamed to say how much FUN it was to watch! I could have cared less to open any gifts myself, the act of giving was so entirely fulfilling. Vivien can be heard referring to herself as Rapunzel in a castle, a ballerina, or a mommy most moments of the day. She can always be found in her Rapunzel dress, or a fairy costume. She is as girly as they come. It's precious.
Evelyn has two dedicated shelves in her new room (formerly Jack's nursery), and has already vehemently claimed her territory. She has her own green light strand (thanks for the late night grab, Home Depot!), and sleeps in her mother's former childhood poster bed. Talk about heavy moments for me? Tucking her in, her perfectly formed words, well ahead of a two year old's vocabulary, falling from her lips, and a quick kiss always choke me up. She loves Minnie Mouse, and Jonathan sounds off that it suits her, as she is her mother's mini. She also has been given the Merida line of princess "gear". It just seems so fitting, although it is worth noting that our girls have never actually seen any of the princess movies that these cartoons star in. Haha!
Elijah is looking for the months to speed up and for his brother to become his playmate and best friend. While he and Evelyn are thick as thieves, she desires to be best buddies with her older sister and he knows. Jack is a quick student, so it won't be long. Elijah is amused by all things cars, and he loves the set we gave him for Christmas. He laughed and laughed every time one of his little four wheeled machines traveled the spiral course. Before his nap today, I watched him trade his baby Emily for Spiderman, and surround himself with his new Elephant, and soccer ball. I wasn't allowed to leave until the bulldozer and excavator that cousin Jeremy sent were in view on his dresser. I suppose they aren't as fun to have on your pillow ;)
And Jack. Oh Jack. We joke that if you are crying, WE did something wrong (like step on you). If everyone had babies like you, there would be millions of children. People would have HUGE families. You are so even keeled, sweet as a chocolate candy, and content to meander around the big kids and their toys. Your every happiness is being held, kissed on, loved on, and fed. You LOVE to eat. Infant Vivien had an appetite like you do, so I have seen it before, yet I find myself amazed at the amount of grub you can scarf down. You've been crawling over a solid month now, and working on pulling up. You need to be upstairs with the big kids. I see it in your little eyes. I'm excited for you too, big boy. ;)
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| That present was labeled...accordingly. Thanks Uncle Scott! |
As we start the New Year, I am thankful for Jonathan's job. It has been good to us, and it's good for him. We miss being together in the day, but we treasure the evenings together that much more. I am thankful that I married the perfect man for me. Jonathan and I are so completely right for one another. What a beautiful life to be yoked to someone that is "your lobster", as Phoebe Buffet would say ;)
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO... here it is: the last year of our lives...in video! Thanks again Heather, Movie Momma! It has been an amazing year!!!!
I have found center!!!! REJOICE!!!!
You know how most issues in life are approached with a pendulum swing attitude? You tend to lean too far in one direction, then too far in the other, and then you find that happy middle where you settle?
In the beginning of my parenting (like I am so far along, hah!) The Lord clearly spoke to me about defiance, and that it was okay to be angry at it. In fact, it was okay to show that anger to my kids. In a world where I was drowning in all the "Mommy advice" to be kind (even, forbidding that anger!), I was receiving words from the Lord through His Scripture that a defiant spirit does not please the Lord. And as a mother, it shouldn't be something that I should try not to feel.
So, I shared that information with a few of my trusted friends, and let it go. I tried to blog about it, but I felt like I didn't have a complete picture, and I didn't want to be misleading. In fact, I felt that it was a "Mary moment" of sorts and that I would mostly "ponder these things in my heart". (Christian cliche? check!) No, but really, I sensed more to the picture.
Recently the Lord really started speaking to me through Romans 2:4
"Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"
Oh my. God's KINDNESS is meant to lead me to repentance. And all of the ways that the Lord has been kind to me the past 9 or so years, has led me to where I am now. I felt His deep kindness continually leading me. Isn't that what the Holy Spirit does when He convicts? Isn't that HIS work in His Spirit: graciously and kindly leading us to repentance.
I would be acting out of a heart like the Lord's if my desire was to choose kindness toward my children when they are struggling.
But look at the next verse...Romans 2:5
"But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed."
And now it comes full circle.
I can tell you distinct moments when The Lord has been angry with me, and I saw that in what would transpire. I can recall when my heart was stubborn towards something He had been leading me to do, and I would reap hurt and pain in my life as a consequence. His anger.
When my children have hard, impenitent hearts, we exercise a moment of wrath. And we can see in Scripture that that is congruent with God's character.
I wanted to reconcile these two parenting "places": anger and patience...and low and behold I can see in His Word that Father God feels the same. The Word is so beautiful.
Parenting questions? You know where to look...to the ultimate model of parenting, Our Father in Heaven through His Word.
Parenting questions? You know where to look...to the ultimate model of parenting, Our Father in Heaven through His Word.
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