A Baby Bug's Life

When I found out I was pregnant with our very first child, Vivien, I did what most mothers do.  I began this immersion into everything pregnancy related.  What to Expect When You are Expecting was read, I began reading every blog Google shot my way, and I soaked it all in.  Not only did I read, I talked with lots of mothers that I respected.  I interviewed them for the tricks of the trade.  At my first precious baby shower I received a copy of Dunsten's Baby Language, which saved our lives with our newborn weeks into her life.  My sister in law gave me a copy of The Baby Whisperer which I still adore to this day and have used with all of our children.  I recommend both of these resources to others, in fact. I researched cloth diapering and knew the Lord had called us to do that to save money.  I became familiar with baby wearing, catch phrases like "Attachment parenting" and "Crying it Out".  I was neck deep in all things mommy.

You know the adage "Fail to prepare, prepare to fail"?  I definitely took it seriously, and I wouldn't change a lot of it.  All of those things aren't bad.  Some of them have been valuable resources.

But I want to address something today that has been bothering me.  In my immersion of Christian mommy "self helps" I believe a trend has taken place.  There is an abundance of Christian material out there for mommies, written by other mommies that promotes a very love and grace heavy type of parenting.  I can remember when Vivien was very small, reading ebooks that were just all about reaching the heart of your child.  Please don't misunderstand, this idea is not incorrect, but my take away gave me a lot of of unrest about basic discipline, and other forms of instruction.  It also was thick with an ideal of "just enjoy your children because you can't have that time back", to which I agreed with in theory, but found myself even months ago saying "I can see overindulgence growing and it is wrong.  Someone must take care of the household chores.  I cannot sit around reading and crafting all day every day."

In the same vein,  I can also quickly point to material that takes a heavy "law" approach. Very rule oriented. There is the shine about it because it promises compliant children.  Who doesn't want that?!  But thankfully, I could quickly see where the Biblical inconsistencies were and we put those down.

I don't have it all figured out, but what I do know is that grace or law heavy materials in the Christian venue, are both deceptive.  They are just another form of deception.

As a new parent, armed with all sorts of information, the Holy Spirit continually pushed me out of situations where I was relying on other mothers (like in online groups), or searching "Dr. Google", and convicted me to pursue the truths in the Word first, middle, and last.

I was always ready with a small excuse for why I must be hearing wrong, because I had grace in those areas.  I could see some fruit (good friendships, encouragement, things like that) and I wanted to remain apart. I also would frequently tell the Lord that the "practical information I needed" just wasn't in the Word!  HELLLOOO?!

But my convictions wouldn't leave, and the Lord mercifully began to unfold His commitment to guide me through it all, with or without my obedience.  As I watched Him work in my life, I willingly and joyfully gave up all of my worldly ties to be tethered faithfully to Him.

And now here I am.

I'm not too far into this, but parenting has become easier.  Yeah.  I know.

No longer am I wondering "what would someone else advise me to do?" or for heaven's sake "What would a google search yield?"  Oh no...I am joyfully receiving my direction from the Spirit of God Himself, who admittedly knows all about me, my life, my children's lives and what ALL OF US NEED.

It's like a huge breath of pure, beautiful fresh air.

I want to be clear that there were some resources (as I mentioned above) that were wonderful.  And the Lord gifted them to me from other people.  There were many edifying conversations. If I need some quick answers on the symptoms of the common cold, or how to prevent the flu from spreading, Google is a champion.  However I needed to have the wisdom to see what was from Him and what was of my own striving and searching.  I do not wish to bash any resource, or discredit any friendship, but rather, report on what a wonderful graceful God I serve, that has waited for me to "get all the worldly seeking out of my system" so that I may return to my source unadulterated.

Instead, may I choose to draw so close to the Lord, that He shows me the heart of my children, that He chastens me to speak with His law/grace to them, that He molds my lump of clay into something that He can use since He has given me these children to steward. May He give me keen eyes like He has, to pierce my heart with the knowledge I need.  May he give it to all of my mommy friends!!!!


It's a lonely place to be quite honestly.  A few "heart friends" will want to know the things the Lord is teaching us, but it's not a "one size fits all" solution.  Like any good parent, God is molding us all different to purpose us for our callings.  We should be supportive, memorize His Word (how else can we recall it in moments of need?!), and calm our lives to hear His still small voice. Because it is still.  It is small.

But His faithfulness to speak:  Oh thank you, Jesus.  You speak.


If I can grow in my ability to hear from my perfect Creator, teach my children to hear there first, and be faithful to promote His Word to them, I am successfully parenting.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11